Learning to Play the Waiting Game

11 Apr

Blog Post #19

I am learning to play the waiting game.

Sitting in a hospital, watching nurses, orderlies, assistants, doctors bustling through the wards. Checking in on patients, carrying clipboards, stethoscopes, wearing gloves, sometimes masks. Speaking in those quiet, hospital tones. While we sit and wait. Watching our sweet girl sleep fitfully on the narrow bed with the rails up. The monitor showing data from the wires hooked up to her chest, her finger. Worrying…

The waiting game.

The doctor has ordered more tests: CT scan, bloodwork, urine sample, blood pressure taken, temperature taken, checked her urine output. The nurses check her IV, answer questions with vague, positive  words, wheel her to her next test. She’ll be back soon, the results will be back soon, the doctor will be back soon.

The waiting game.

It seems like time is ticking by so slowly — we wait to find out answers — why is our girl sick, what is wrong? How can she be fixed when no one knows.

Even when there are answers, more questions arise — “once we have the CT done, we will know more” When the bloodwork comes back, we will know more. MRI will tell us more…

The waiting game.

At least, it seems like a waiting game to me. I want all the answers right now. I want my daughter to be dancing around my living room, singing loudly, chattering on about inane things, anything. I don’t want to play the waiting game.

I take a deep breath, I read (again) the texts and emails from friends sending me and my daughter heartfelt messages of strength, comfort, love.

And I look again at the nurses, orderlies, assistants, doctors bustling through the wards. Checking in on patients, carrying clipboards, stethoscopes, wearing gloves, sometimes masks. Speaking in those quiet, hospital tones. But now I see, them reassuring family and patients, bring ice chips, warm blankets, pain meds, easing pain and fears. Tending to needs. Care giving.

Pink Flower

I may be waiting, but that doesn’t mean that they are waiting. They are doing.

So I will learn to play the waiting game.

I will wait for test results, tests to be done, meds to be brought, pain to be relieved.

And while I am waiting:

I will notice the extra care the nurses show when they patiently listen to my questions. I will hear their soothing answers, telling me as much as they can.  I will appreciate the time the doctor takes to make sure we understand the processes, the results, the next steps. I will see the assistants carefully moving patients in and out of room with smooth, practiced movements. The orderlies who bring the meals. The cleaners that keep the halls and rooms immaculate. I will reassure my daughter that everything will be all right, that she is well taken care of, that things are happening as they should.

I will give thanks that my daughter is in good hands and is receiving excellent care. I will be grateful that my friends and relatives are wrapping us in loving thoughts of comfort, healing and strength. I will add in my fervent prayers to theirs.

I will wait.

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Brynne’s Daily Drawing #19

Brynne's Daily Drawing #19

 

 

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